托福写作----连贯性

在托福独立写作的评分标准中，第三点明确出托福作文应该注重整体性、渐进性以及连贯性。
Score: 5
An essay at this level largely accomplishes all the following:
1） Effectively addresses the topic and task
2） Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations,
exemplifications, and /or details
3） Displays unity, progression, and coherence
4）Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors.
那么什么是连贯性？如何提高文章的连贯性呢？
一、意思上的连贯
在段落写作的时候，段落要有一致的写作对象，全段围绕一个点展开，且叙述有一定的顺序，这样读者才能很好地跟随作者思路。例如：

Humans need to use all of the land they can gain access to. As the planet's population continues to grow, people need to move onto land that was previously occupied only by animals. In many countries, there are large numbers of cities with over a million people. In fact, some cities, like Tokyo, Seoul, and New York, have populations of over ten million. These cities are overcrowded, so many people need to move out of them and onto new lands. While they may be moving to lands that are inhabited by endangered animals, the welfare of humans Is much more important than that of a few endangered animals. People have to take care of Earth's expanding population, and the best way to enable people to live more comfortably is to move onto lands inhabited animals.

在这个段落中，作者围绕着一个主题在展开——人类需要去利用那些他们能够使用的土地。为什么呢？后面就开始解释了：因为地球人口变多，人们需要更多土地，例如东京、纽约等地。最后总结，随着人类的扩张，需要使用更多的土地。作文行文非常流畅，段落至始至终都在描述同意写作对象，意思上很连贯。

二、逻辑关系的连贯。
在一个段落的描述中，作者的逻辑随时都在变化，读者作为被动的群体，作者向东，读者也需要向东。如果作者的逻辑变地太快、太频繁，读者很容易就会跟丢。所以我们在写作的时候必须要加上逻辑词，以此为路标，读者会更容易发现我们逻辑的转变。

例如：
When marine organisms called phytoplankton photosynthesize, they absorb carbon
dioxide dissolved in seawater, potentially causing a reduction in the concentration of
atmospheric carbon dioxide, a gas that contributes to global warming. However, phy-
toplankton flourish only in surface waters where iron levels are sufficiently high. Mar-
tin therefore hypothesized that adding iron to iron-poor regions of the ocean could
help alleviate global warming. While experiments subsequently confirmed that such a
procedure increases phytoplankton growth, field tests have shown that such growth
does not significantly lower atmospheric carbon dioxide. When phytoplankton utilize
carbon dioxide for photosynthesis, the carbon becomes a building block for organic
matter, but the carbon leaks back into the atmosphere when predators consume the
phytoplankton and respire carbon dioxide.

文中这几个逻辑词和好地只是了作者思路的改变：浮游植物光合作用会吸收二氧化碳----但仅仅在那些铁含量比较高的地方-----所以Martin做出了推测----尽管有些实验可以支持他的观点，但是接下来的实验却支持并不能降低二氧化碳含量：它们光合作用可以降低二氧化碳含量，但是被吃了之后，二氧化碳又回到大气中去。

从上文中，我们在逻辑词中看到了文章作者思路如何转变。在写作的时候，我们也需要这些逻辑词，帮助我们引导读者，让他们读起来更加通顺。

三、旧信息在前，新信息在后。
在写作的时候，为了让读者能够更好地紧跟作者思路，作者会调整写作信息的顺序，把以前提到过的信息放在前面，把旧信息放在后面。这样读者就不会因为突然出现的新信息而感到手足无措。例如：
(1) Average life expectancy has increased considerably in many parts of the world over the last one hundred years. (2) Improvements in medicine and higher standards of living are the main reasons for this.
第二个句子以improvements in medicine对于第一句来说，是一个新的内容，放在句首显得有一些突然。如果我们把它变为:(1) Average life expectancy has increased considerably in many parts of the world over the last one hundred years.  (2) The main reasons for this are improvements in medicine and higher standards of living. 就会比较自然。第二句里的this与前面的信息有对应，属于旧信息。
改完之后，我们继续：(1) Average life expectancy has increased considerably in many parts of the world over the last one hundred years.  (2) The main reasons for this are improvements in medicine and higher standards of living. (3) Yet despite these changes, the maximum human lifespan of about 120 years has not increased. (4) However, delaying the process of growing old may make it possible to extend this limit.
第三句与前面衔接良好，但第四句与第三句的衔接就弱了。我们应该把第四句改为(4) However, it may be possible to extend this limit by delaying the process of growing old.  把this limit放在前这样衔接会更为流畅。
接下来我们看第五句：(5) Genetic engineering may be one way of slowing down the process.这句话与改后的第四句又衔接不到位，Genetic engineering 是新内容，我们再来修改(5) One way of slowing down the process may be by genetic engineering. 这时候首先出现的是the process, 这个时候就非常合适了。

综上所述，如果我们要把段落写的更加连贯，可以从三个方面入手：
1）段落句子间意思连贯
2）逻辑连贯
3）旧信息在，新信息在后。

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【成功案例】
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