美国本科留学申请：ACT文章写作实例解析

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ACT考试全称“American College Testing”，中文名称为“美国大学入学考试”，是美国大学本科的入学条件之一，也是奖学金发放的重要依据之一。

考试共215道。总分36分，考试时间共175分钟。英语 75问题/45分钟。数学 60问题/60分钟。阅读 40问题/35分钟。科学 40问题/35分钟。还有一个写作(选做)。

ACT考试官方改革后的写作部分，推出了新样题及评分标准。新的评分标准由4项指标组成：

1.观点及分析Ideas and Analysis

2.对观点从深度和广度上的支撑 Development and Support

3.文章结构Organization

4.语言运用Language Use

4项分别判分，写作的最后得分是这四项的综合分。

一、开篇分析：

I 篇首段：

It is no secret that today’s workforce no longer consists entirely of people. Rather, machines are being developed to complete many of the tasks which humans have traditionally done. This can greatly increase productivity and efficiency of simple, repetitive tasks. Many people view this as a great positive and point out that it leads to a more uniform and less expensive product which is better for everyone. However, some people are more wary of this popular trend of automating the workforce and question whether this progress is truely (并非笔误，是样文的真实重现) positive. Their concerns, though, are outweighed by the benefits these machines offer. (108字)

首段解析：第一篇文章的首段行文很稳，It is no secret that…句型展开，到Rather引领，写作的层次逻辑感清晰可见。然后They can…陈述事实，Many people句描述一般民众对智能机械的正向认识，However句展示一部分民众持有的疑惑和担忧(负面的认识)，最后一句用though拉回来，用了一个表权衡的短语 are outweighed by …指出智能机械的益处胜于民众的担忧。 【写作要求】

II 篇首段：

Advances in technology have become so widely accepted in today’s culture that very few people are willing to pause to consider the consequences. People get so excited about what new technologies can offer that they forget to question whether there might be any negative effects. Without caution and deliberation, replacing the natural with the mechanical would undoubtedly be disasterous.(注：并非笔误，是样文的真实重现)(63字)

首段解析：第二篇文章的首段先用一个so…that…句型说明技术的进步被广泛接受以至于人们都不愿停下细想其后果，第二句再用so…that…句型描述人们过于热衷新技术都忘了考虑其负面效应。两个句子一个从技术层面引入，一个从民众层面分析，虽都用了so…that…句型，但气势愈强，程度愈深到结尾句，作者亮明自己的观点，如果没有仔细思虑和考量，以机械代替人力将毫无疑问是灾难性的。作者在亮明自己的观点是用了两个很强势的词undoubtedly 和disastrous, 不过前面有without引导的条件短语铺垫，显得作者的观点不片面，不极端。

小结：从论述文的角度来看，第二篇第一段(63字)亮明自己的观点非常鲜明，直接了当。而第一篇第一段(108字)更像是一个论文综述，分析了正反两方面的态势，最后也没能开门见山，旗帜鲜明的表明自己的观点，虽然篇幅更长，用词更多，但仍不及第二篇首段更有力度。

二、结尾分析：

I 篇末段：

Whether humans like it or not, machines are becoming more and popular (原文中就忘写了一个more)in the workplace and are decreasing the need for humans to work those jobs. This can lead to advancement of society, a greater end product or service, and even a lower consumer cost of goods. Many people are frightened of change, but unfortunately for them, the past is gone and now we must look to the future.

末段解析：首句强势表明观点，无论人类喜欢与否，机器都会变得越来越普遍，降低成本，提高效率。最后一句呼吁害怕改变的人们能面向未来。 【如何写好末段】

II 篇末段：

Decreasing the speed with which we incorporate mechanical influence is important because of the potential dangers that lurk in blind acceptance. Not only does the preference of the mechanical over the natural interfere with the job market and the economy, but its use also has the potential to seriously degrade our culture as a whole. In combination with the uncertainty surrounding the increasing intelligence of machines, it is most assuredly better for the human species that technological progress be slowed so that we can, if necessary, prevent additional damage.

末段解析：进一步说明减缓机器对人类影响的重要性，因为在我们的盲目接受中蛰伏这潜在的危险。Blind acceptance呼应首段的without caution and deliberation。记下来，not only…but句式用递进的方式进一步说明对机器盲从的危害，从影响就业市场到整体文化衰退。最有一句仍然用一个表示条件的短语后，依然用了很强烈的措辞it is most assuredly better for the human species that句式再次犀利的重申自己的观点，号召人们采取行动。

小结：所以整体上感觉第二篇的力度强于第一篇，而且在遣词造句方面第二篇也更显功力。比如potential dangers，lurk，blind acceptance， degrade our culture，uncertainty surrounding等等。

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